You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
and she was petting her beer can
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
