I am in a vortex of obligation.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
