I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
