as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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