I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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