NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize