Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize