ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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