I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
