I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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