Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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