just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
