I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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