So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
