i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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