from now on my penis is your penis
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
