I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
