My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
