I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
