all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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