Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
