I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
