I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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