you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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