Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
