How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
