Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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