I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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