yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
