Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
