There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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