One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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