Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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