Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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