sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
