You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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