I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
