The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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