So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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