KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
