Me too!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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