Can Purell be used as lube?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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