i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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