Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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