To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
