you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
