kristin has been a bad kristin
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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