i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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