Whats the glycemic index on semen?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
