Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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