imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
