wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
