shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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