well I can't set my house on fire every night
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
