so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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