I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
