my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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