is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i think im in europe. pls send help
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
