For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
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Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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