is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
