She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
