Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
