Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize