he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
