i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away