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ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can I color on your dick again?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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