Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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