how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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