You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
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cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
please don't ironically join a cult
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